Jesus > Society

         I've been wanting to write this blog for some time now, but I wanted to get my thoughts completely organized before I did. Where my heart is in writing this comes from personal experiences, as well as things I've seen and heard about. It goes without saying that especially as teenagers, and young adults, society can have a HUGE influence on us, and the choices we make. Society says "Sex before marriage is okay, everyone does it." Society says "Come play beer pong with us, everyone else will be there." Society tells us that anything everyone else does is okay. But just because everyone else does it, does not make it right in God's eyes.

          I'm going to get right into it, because this subject is going to kind of serve as the main topic of discussion: Premarital sex. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 -"ye should abstain from fornication (sexual intercourse between two consenting people who are not married to each other): that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel on sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence" (powerful feelings of physical desire). As teenagers, hormones are raging, and we have feelings and urges. But as I've stated in previous blogs, feelings are not bad; how we deal with them can be. 

         With the greatness of God, and his Love, forgiveness, peace, holiness, and grace, there is an evil that wants us to fail. God wants us to be great; he wants us to prosper. He wants us to be the BEST version of ourselves. But evil wants us to utterly and completely fail, to hurt, and to ruin the plan that God has for our lives. In wanting us to abstain from sex until we have entered the covenant of marriage, he is doing so to better serve our lives, not to punish us. 1 Corinthians 10:13 -"God is Faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;" (God will NOT let you be tempted more than you can handle)

          Society tells boys that visiting a strip club when they enter adulthood is "what everyone does. It's normal." But strip clubs have sin written all over them. They are one of the many temptations out there that are waiting for us to fail. Because what are boys gaining from it? Lust. Matthew 5:28 -"But I say unto you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery." Guys, let me ask you something. If you have a good girl by your side, who KNOWS her self worth, who has inner beauty, who would do anything for you, you have the best of the best right there. So why would you want the lowest of the low somewhere else? You're idolizing a female who has low -if any self-esteem, no idea of her self worth, no love for you, or any other boy she's filling desires for, but that's what pleasures you? What does that say about how you view yourself? And I am not saying that if you're single, it's different. Because again, any form of sex was created for the pleasure between two married people. Society says "everyone has a stripper at their bachelor/bachelorette party!" I have always said that when I'm about to get married, I DO NOT want a stripper at my bachelorette party. If my friends don't respect that, and a stripper shows up, I will leave. It's not fun, it's not classy, it's not enjoyable, and it's not me. It's the same concept I stated with strip clubs. In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, Paul says "for it is better to marry than to burn."

         This is just a stem from that topic; as far as I'm aware, most of society agrees that cheating on your partner is disgusting, and plenty of other adjectives we don't need to get into, but unfortunately, it happens. I've seen SO many people go through being cheated on, so I wanted to talk about it a little bit. You may think it's "cool" to talk to a lot of people at once, and see how many you can get to crush on you, or how many people you can "hook up" with. I'm definitely not the first one to say that it's not. The Seventh Commandment bluntly states "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Proverbs 6:32 -"whoever committeth adultery lacks understanding, and destroys his own soul." In my opinion, that verse says it all. 

          Society says "Come to this party and drink with all of us!" I'm not going to get into a spiel about how drugs and alcohol are bad; I'm sure you've all heard plenty in school and such, but I will say that drinking, especially underage does not put you at a higher ranking than anyone else. Ephesians 5:18 -"Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill you." Mind you, wine was what they called alcohol in general. 

        I did not write this to seem like a goody-two-shows by any means. I follow our creator who is a GREAT God, and I have views on things that I KNOW most people don't agree with...because I'm not agreeing with society. 

Prayers&Positivity

Becka 

        

          

Happy Simplicity/Merry Christmas!

               Today, a girl started talking to me about the Holidays, and what I had planned for Christmas. As I finished telling her of my Holiday traditions, she smiled and told me how her family doesn't do much for Christmas. I asked her about it, and she explained that her Father works on Christmas Day, and how when she was younger, her family didn't even acknowledge Christmas. She told me that her family doesn't exchange gifts, or cook a big meal or anything. It evidently made me more sad than it did her. This was her "norm". She definitely was not sharing this as a complaint.
               The past two or three years, Christmas has kind of died down in my family. We haven't had a tree, and gifts are picked out ahead of time and either received well before Christmas, or just not wrapped, and all fancy Christmas morning. We haven't even put up a tree. And this had made me sad. Nothing about my house is Christmas-y, and there are times I stop myself from trying to feel jealous when I see other people having lights on their houses, cute decorations in their lawns, and as I scroll through the endless (yet beautiful) pictures of decorated Christmas trees. But as I said, it's because I've seen the Christmas spirit sort of...die over the years. This wasn't my norm.
               But listening to this girl tell me how simple Christmas was in her household, and just the smile she had on her face, made me take a step back, and again use my mantra, someone always has it worse than us. Sometimes around Christmas, we can get caught up in presents, and decorating, and it's definitely normal, and understandable, but things like this can really "bring you back to earth" so to speak. Like I said, not only her situation, but the fact that she is just so positive about it. She wasn't complaining, she wasn't wanting sympathy. It was just as if you were to ask "what are you doing for Christmas?" and her normal answer was that she wasn't really doing anything.
               Over the past eight or nine months, I've really stuck to the saying that someone always has it worse than us. We hear these stories on the news, see them all the time quite honestly, but do we actually stop and think about it? You might be saying "Yeah Becka, you've said this a million times before." and my response to that would be yes, I know that, and I won't stop. Everyone has their own way of being humbled, and taking that phrase into consideration is mine.
               Today has most definitely made me more appreciative of what I do have, and made me not dwell on the things that I don't. Christmas has never been about gifts for me, but little things like not having a tree made me sad, but not anymore. This will definitely not be my last blog beforehand, but I'd like to wish you a very Merry Christmas! I hope reading this will make you appreciate it this year a little bit more. =)


Prayers&Positivity
Becka

Thank You❤

         All of us have those occasional nights where we think about about our lives. For me, as I'm reminiscing my past, and the events that forever changed my life, I think of the people that were there for me. A lot of people back away from scary situations, or they don't know what to say or do, therefore, they don't say or do anything. Being someone's rock can be challenging, it is not easy by any means. In certain situations, I often say that the person going through the difficulty, and the one supporting that person, struggle the same. You may think that sounds crazy, but here's why: no doubt, the person dealing with a loss, a health issue, etc. has a lot to be emotional about, worried about, and scared about. However, often times they do have support. The person who is trying to be there for the victim of the situation is dealing with the inner battle of "am I doing enough for them?", the roller coaster of emotions, and in my experiences, they are the ones other people come to for knowledge of what is going on. The support doesn't have support, and is trying to be strong enough for two people.

         With this being said, I want to take the time to Thank all of the people that have been there for me through any or all of the tragedies I've faced thus far in my life. I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart Love and appreciate all of you so much. There is no question, I would not be here without you.

          To the ones who became like second Mothers to me, Thank you. You all have had a tremendous influence in my life, and even though I lost my Mom, I gained 3 and I love you all so, so much.

         To the ones that became like family to me, Thank you. Blood does not make you family, and this could not be more true for me. I love you all like family and nothing will ever change that.

         To the ones who were by my side through two of the hardest situations I've been in, both 9 years ago, and 5 months ago, Thank you. I honestly would not have been able to do it without any of you. I have tried to put myself in all of your shoes and I think about what I would have done, had it been the other way around, and your strength for me has helped me more than you realize. The places to sleep at night, the funny stories to lift me up and laugh, and the safeness I felt with you does not go one day without being appreciated. I Love you all more than you will ever know. 

         To the ones who inspire me on a daily basis, Thank you. You've shown me that there is so much to be happy, and thankful for. Being surrounded by you motivates me to be my best self. You are all so Amazing.

        To the ones who have helped me become who I am today, and who are always looking out for me, Thank you. I don't think I would be here today without you. You guys have made me realize so much about myself and my potential, and that only inspires me every single day to be better than I was yesterday. You have helped me to stay motivated to reach my goals, and have said "I am proud of you" when I do. You've shown me what is possible, and that you believe in me, and for that, I will always be grateful. I love you guys so much!

          And last, but certainly not least, to my Dad and my Guardian Angel, my Mom, I Love you two more than anything in this world. I've learned so much from both of you. Life is short, so don't be too afraid to try new things, to chase your dreams, and to live life to the fullest. Mom, Thank you for always watching down on me and protecting me, thank you for being the best Mom in the entire world to Josh and I. I would give ANYTHING to see your Beautiful face again, and I will someday. I Love you so much❤ Dad, Thank you for always being there for me. Through thick and thin, and other people coming and going, you have been a constant in my life, and I appreciate that more than anything. You are the STRONGEST person I know, and it only makes me stronger. You inspire me every day. I Love you more than life itself and I mean that whole heartedly. 

     You all mean the world to me, and I am so blessed to have/have had you in my life. You guys are the best of the best, and I Love you all more than I think you could possibly know. Once again, Thank You❤ 

Love,

Becka

            

I Believe in You

        I believe that what goes around, comes around. I am mainly talking about the positives. "Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself."(Ralph Waldo Emerson). Not only does good karma repay you, but it just feels good to know that you can help someone, and make their day better. 

              I've written another blog on this topic specifically, but people often ask me how I stay so positive and how admiring it is. I stay positive because I know what it is like to feel the complete opposite. I've been in that place where I felt like no one cared, everything was so negative, and I didn't feel like it would matter if I wasn't here anymore. But one thing I've learned is that even if it doesn't seem like it, someone out there loves you. Someone wants the best for you, someone wants you to stay strong and be happy. You could be reading this and saying "yeah right, easy for you to say." Maybe you have a bad relationship with your family, and your friends are drifting away from you. If you can't think of one person that knows you are worth it, I do. I want you to not look at how far you have left to go, and not look at how wrong everything may seem right now. I want you to focus on how far you've come, and what could be going right in your life. If you don't think you're blessed, feel your pulse. You are here for a reason.

            I met a young girl recently, who was crying by herself. I had never met her before, but I approached her and asked her what was wrong. She proceeded to tell me about the hardships she faced, and fought my advice with "but you're pretty, you don't get it." I started to share personal stories with her, and how I overcame difficulties I was faced with. For the first time in thirty minutes, she cracked a smile as I wiped away her tears. I gave her a hug and reassured her I was there for her if she ever needed someone to talk to. 

             These instances are what motivates me to keep doing what I do. If I can help or inspire one person, I am fulfilling God's purpose for my life. We need to encourage one another, and lend a hand to those in need. When I reach out to other people, or even get surprised when people approach me and tell me that I've unknowingly helped them, I can guarantee you that I am even happier about it than they are! 

             Sometimes all it takes is ONE person to say "I Believe in You". 

Prayers&Positivity 

Becka

Depression: My Story

         I hesitated writing this blog in fear it was too personal, and I guess I was never really ready to publicize it. But, I always say if I can inspire one person, I'm doing something right. 

          The first week of 9th grade was like the beginning to any school year. I was trying to get back into the swing of things; I felt different, kind of awkward. I figured the feelings were typical back-to-school nerves.

          Weeks went by, and this feeling just wouldn't go away. It actually got worse. When I came home from school, I just felt sad. As time progressed, it got to the point where I would start crying for no reason. Nothing would have happened, but I would start crying for hour-long periods. I didn't know why, I just knew I was sad. This happened every single day. 

            After roughly two weeks of these episodes, I brought it up to the counselor I had been seeing. Every session, I would really only say one thing, "I feel sad." It got to be annoying, even to myself. I tried so hard to put my feelings into words, but I just couldn't. 

              I started writing down the times I felt sad and a little of how I was feeling. Every week, I would bring them to my counselor. One of the entries read:

 

"8:55am.                               9/20/10

I'm feeling sad, almost to the point of crying. I think if I were at home, I would've cried. Dreading this afternoon and my future."

     The following week, we had a group session, meaning my Dad was in the room with my counselor and I. We all talked and expressed what we needed to and that was when my counselor said that I was dealing with Depression. 

       I had a hard time accepting that. I tried to deny it, but in the back of my head, I think I always knew Depression was a huge possibility. It's a serious thing, and I didn't want to be looked at like there was something wrong with me. 

        However, once I did realize and "accept" the fact that I had Depression, I started to rebel against the counseling process. I felt like I was getting ganged up on, but in reality, we all wanted the same thing: for me to be happy. 

          My counselor kept suggesting anti-depressants. I think they are a great thing for some people, and I'm not against them in any way. I just didn't feel like they were for me. Although I never wanted to admit it, there were times I actually thought about taking them because I was so desperate to be happy again. But I felt like it would be something I would decide, not something I would be forced to do. 

              A few weeks after her initial suggestion, my counselor entertained the idea of me seeing a psychiatrist, because they specialize in that field. It scared me because I knew that if he thought I needed medication, I'd get it no matter what I wanted. It was also nerve-wracking due to all the negative stigmas attached to their profession. 

              He went through a list and asked me probably 20 or so questions. Most of them were easy and I could just simply say "no". The last question he asked me was "Are you suicidal?" I froze. There were many times I had thought of suicide, but I had never tried to kill myself, or made a plan to do so, and since since my Dad was in his office with me, I didn't want to admit it, and I said "no". However, my counselor had told him things I had said to her, and he did make me talk about it. Once he realized I was only trying to explain how I felt, and not making a suicidal threat, he came to the conclusion that medication was not something I needed. 

          By January, I decided to quit counseling. I didn't feel like I was able to be helped. I had been depression for five months, and I now felt like I was kind of on my own. I had become very anti-social. I hated talking to really anyone and if my phone died, I wouldn't even think about charging it for weeks at a time. 

            I would always hear how kids and young adults committing suicide was becoming an epidemic, but I never thought I would be that kid. I never thought I would really want to die. But I did. And that's not something I openly would talk about. 

            March 3, 2011, I sat at the end of my bed, and I just felt so low. Worse than I ever had before. I felt like there was no reason for me to be on this earth anymore. I texted one of my friends at the time and said "I can't do this anymore." I honestly don't know why I reached out to her. I think maybe subconsciously I wanted help. She wasn't clear on what I meant, and I said "I want to take a gun to my head. I can't do this anymore, I want out." She begged me not to do it, and I sat there and cried for at least an hour, debating what I was going to do. I finally promised her I wouldn't. 

            After that night, I prayed every single day that I would be happy again. That was the only thing I wanted. Things slowly started to get better. But again, this was a process. 

          I began being very dependent on people. If my mood was down, I expected them to know how to make it better. If my mood was up, I expected them to make sure it stayed there. I also wasn't choosing who I surrounded myself with very carefully. 

           At one point, I was feeling down and I was hanging out with someone who definitely didn't have a positive affect on me. There was about a 2 week period that I had thought about cutting myself. When I brought it up to this person, their response was "me too!" And we talked about it like it was "cool." I was always too scared of the pain to actually do it, and one night I had a dream that I cut myself all the way up my arm and it hurt so bad and I was taken to the hospital. The thought never occurred to me again. 

              I eventually got to be too much for people to deal with, and that's when I looked to God more than ever. I started praying a lot. I prayed for strength, and that I wouldn't be miserable forever. Little by little, I started gaining back control of my life. I apologized to the people I had hurt, and realized I had to also show them I meant I was sorry. 

            I was so insecure with myself. If people were laughing around me, I felt like they were talking about me. I became extremely hard on myself, and I would wallow in my own self-pity. My insecurities got the best of me. 

          I started to rely more on myself, and I adjusted my focus. That was the BEST thing I did. Instead of worrying about things that didn't matter right now, I focused on what did. Who I love, what's truly important and I focused on the now. Now the "20 years from now". 

            I learned to let God take care of my worries. If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it. I put my trust in him. I was truly happy again not long after that.

          It was a scary 8 months. I wouldn't wish Depression on ANYONE. It was constant misery every single day. But, I wouldn't be where I am today without experiencing this. Overcoming Depression has made me realize SO much. I don't take things for granted. You need bad days to appreciate the good ones. Appreciate the people who love you and think the world of you, because they won't always be here. 

        I've realized I can do anything I set my mind to! I've accomplished so much in the past 3 years that before my Freshman year, I would have never imagined I could! NEVER give up!

Prayers&Positivity 

Becka