Jesus > Society

         I've been wanting to write this blog for some time now, but I wanted to get my thoughts completely organized before I did. Where my heart is in writing this comes from personal experiences, as well as things I've seen and heard about. It goes without saying that especially as teenagers, and young adults, society can have a HUGE influence on us, and the choices we make. Society says "Sex before marriage is okay, everyone does it." Society says "Come play beer pong with us, everyone else will be there." Society tells us that anything everyone else does is okay. But just because everyone else does it, does not make it right in God's eyes.

          I'm going to get right into it, because this subject is going to kind of serve as the main topic of discussion: Premarital sex. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 -"ye should abstain from fornication (sexual intercourse between two consenting people who are not married to each other): that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel on sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence" (powerful feelings of physical desire). As teenagers, hormones are raging, and we have feelings and urges. But as I've stated in previous blogs, feelings are not bad; how we deal with them can be. 

         With the greatness of God, and his Love, forgiveness, peace, holiness, and grace, there is an evil that wants us to fail. God wants us to be great; he wants us to prosper. He wants us to be the BEST version of ourselves. But evil wants us to utterly and completely fail, to hurt, and to ruin the plan that God has for our lives. In wanting us to abstain from sex until we have entered the covenant of marriage, he is doing so to better serve our lives, not to punish us. 1 Corinthians 10:13 -"God is Faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;" (God will NOT let you be tempted more than you can handle)

          Society tells boys that visiting a strip club when they enter adulthood is "what everyone does. It's normal." But strip clubs have sin written all over them. They are one of the many temptations out there that are waiting for us to fail. Because what are boys gaining from it? Lust. Matthew 5:28 -"But I say unto you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery." Guys, let me ask you something. If you have a good girl by your side, who KNOWS her self worth, who has inner beauty, who would do anything for you, you have the best of the best right there. So why would you want the lowest of the low somewhere else? You're idolizing a female who has low -if any self-esteem, no idea of her self worth, no love for you, or any other boy she's filling desires for, but that's what pleasures you? What does that say about how you view yourself? And I am not saying that if you're single, it's different. Because again, any form of sex was created for the pleasure between two married people. Society says "everyone has a stripper at their bachelor/bachelorette party!" I have always said that when I'm about to get married, I DO NOT want a stripper at my bachelorette party. If my friends don't respect that, and a stripper shows up, I will leave. It's not fun, it's not classy, it's not enjoyable, and it's not me. It's the same concept I stated with strip clubs. In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, Paul says "for it is better to marry than to burn."

         This is just a stem from that topic; as far as I'm aware, most of society agrees that cheating on your partner is disgusting, and plenty of other adjectives we don't need to get into, but unfortunately, it happens. I've seen SO many people go through being cheated on, so I wanted to talk about it a little bit. You may think it's "cool" to talk to a lot of people at once, and see how many you can get to crush on you, or how many people you can "hook up" with. I'm definitely not the first one to say that it's not. The Seventh Commandment bluntly states "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Proverbs 6:32 -"whoever committeth adultery lacks understanding, and destroys his own soul." In my opinion, that verse says it all. 

          Society says "Come to this party and drink with all of us!" I'm not going to get into a spiel about how drugs and alcohol are bad; I'm sure you've all heard plenty in school and such, but I will say that drinking, especially underage does not put you at a higher ranking than anyone else. Ephesians 5:18 -"Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill you." Mind you, wine was what they called alcohol in general. 

        I did not write this to seem like a goody-two-shows by any means. I follow our creator who is a GREAT God, and I have views on things that I KNOW most people don't agree with...because I'm not agreeing with society. 

Prayers&Positivity

Becka 

        

          

Dealing with Anger

        We've all heard the saying, "Anger is one letter away from 'danger'". A couple of years ago [and sometimes to this day], I can get pretty nasty when I get extremely angry. I've stated in previous blogs that I have a BAD habit of bottling everything up over time. When I get angry, there's a 50/50 chance that I will uncontrollably release it. I talked with a mentor of mine, because I knew that the amount of anger I sometimes experienced was not healthy, and it made me feel like a horrible person. He said something that I still take to heart: "emotions are not bad, how you deal with them can be."

          It is more than normal for us to get angry. We have feelings and emotions, and sometimes people and things can influence them. In Matthew 5:44, God says, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." It has taken me a long time to understand this verse fully, and I completely understand that it is not the easiest thing for us to always do.

          We are often left feeling guilty, defeated, and upset when something has brought us to where we let our negative emotions get the best of us. At the bare minimum, apologize. Some people will get swallowed up with pride, and don't want to seem weak, or lose their dignity; but in reality, you are being strong, and being the bigger person to admit your faults. "Apologizing doesn't always mean you are wrong and the other person is right; it means you value the relationship more than your ego." And in many situations, there may not be someone who is "right", but someone should DO the right thing and apologize. The other person may not accept it, but you can walk away knowing you did the right thing.

        Matthew 6:14 -"for if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you." We all make mistakes, and especially in arguing with another person, whether we think we are right or not, both individuals have fallen guilty to the same thing. We are both in a negative state of mind, and have spoken words we do not mean. You cannot hold someone accountable for making a mistake that you have also made. 

          Several times in the Bible, God states that He calls us to Love. He wants us to forgive, and he wants us to have peace. I not only pray for my enemies, but I also pray for peace in my heart as well, and I pray that God takes my anger away; luckily for me, I do not stay angry for very long.

            When you pray for your enemies, you are taking away their power, and giving your strain to God. God wants to, and WILL fight our battles for us, but we need to call upon His name. Let God be in control of whatever situation is burdening you, and give your worries to Him. If you're reading this and thinking "she must be out of her mind", I know, I thought the SAME thing two years ago, but I PROMISE you, that you will feel relief. John 14:14 -"if he shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." God wants us to be set free, and again, he wants us to Love. But we cannot Love until we let go of anger.

Prayers&Positivity

Becka

Reflection

             We did an activity today in one of my classes that surprisingly threw me completely out of my comfort zone. So far this year, some of the other students have said that this class feels sort of like Group Therapy, and have been out of their comfort zone with previous activities and writing assignments. However, I am an open book when it comes to a lot of things, and I never expected that I would have that feeling at all during this course.
             When something "tragic" happens in my life, I have a habit of pushing it somewhere in my brain where it is not recognized or often thought about. I pretend it never happened and I am not in any way saying this is a good way to cope with things, but I run away from them. It's kind of like 90% of me is open to talking about my personal experiences, and such, but 10% of me is a closed door that VERY few people will ever know about because it's just too much for me to relive, and think about. During this activity, I felt like the door to that 10% of me had been forced open and I felt like I wasn't in control, and as much as I wanted to leave the room and cry, I stopped myself and did what was asked of us.
             Now for what you probably really want to know: what was the assignment? We had to write down negative things that adults in our lives have told us. Again, I'm not one to let what others say to me affect me, really, but when I think about things that I have been told especially in my childhood, it really makes me think of how much of an impact that has on the way I am today. For example, from a young age, I was taught that it is not okay to cry. It was repeated to me, even in the worst of times, I was told it wasn't acceptable. To this day, I really only cry in a couple of situations. But like today, I wanted to start crying right there in class, but that part of my brain started and I stopped myself. Now, I know there is a lot of people that don't like to cry in public, and they could stop themselves like that, but as a reflection on my own self, I can't help but think that what I was told as a child, impacts the way I live my life now.
             It was also really hard for me because not only did I start remembering things that were said to me, but everything that came with that. Such as the place, and the way it was said. It was as if I went back to each moment that I was told something negative, and I did not like it. I was very uncomfortable.
            This is NOT a blog I am writing for sympathy in any way, it is just a reflection. There's not many things or people that can get me to open the door to that 10% of me, so this was really surprising to me, and to be honest, still is. When I start thinking of one thing, it leads to another, and another, and so on. As much as I despise getting emotionally thrown out of my comfort zone, it really is a good thing, because running away from, and/or denying things won't help you heal. Sometimes I think that if I pretend it never happened, then it doesn't exist, and I can just move on from it, but our minds don't really work like that. It may work for a little while, until you start doing something, or acting a certain way, or reacting to something that is completely out of your "norm". At some point, in order to heal, we have to dig deep and uncover things that make us cry, and make us uncomfortable. But one thing that I have learned over the decade, is that it is okay to cry. If you're mad, get mad. If you're upset, be upset. If you're happy, smile, and make someone else smile with you. The only thing that isn't okay is to STAY sad, or mad. As humans, we make mistakes, and negative things will happen to us, and that is all the more reason to show your true feelings and "get it out of your system" before it causes a bigger problem.



Prayers&Positivity
Becka

Thank You❤

         All of us have those occasional nights where we think about about our lives. For me, as I'm reminiscing my past, and the events that forever changed my life, I think of the people that were there for me. A lot of people back away from scary situations, or they don't know what to say or do, therefore, they don't say or do anything. Being someone's rock can be challenging, it is not easy by any means. In certain situations, I often say that the person going through the difficulty, and the one supporting that person, struggle the same. You may think that sounds crazy, but here's why: no doubt, the person dealing with a loss, a health issue, etc. has a lot to be emotional about, worried about, and scared about. However, often times they do have support. The person who is trying to be there for the victim of the situation is dealing with the inner battle of "am I doing enough for them?", the roller coaster of emotions, and in my experiences, they are the ones other people come to for knowledge of what is going on. The support doesn't have support, and is trying to be strong enough for two people.

         With this being said, I want to take the time to Thank all of the people that have been there for me through any or all of the tragedies I've faced thus far in my life. I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart Love and appreciate all of you so much. There is no question, I would not be here without you.

          To the ones who became like second Mothers to me, Thank you. You all have had a tremendous influence in my life, and even though I lost my Mom, I gained 3 and I love you all so, so much.

         To the ones that became like family to me, Thank you. Blood does not make you family, and this could not be more true for me. I love you all like family and nothing will ever change that.

         To the ones who were by my side through two of the hardest situations I've been in, both 9 years ago, and 5 months ago, Thank you. I honestly would not have been able to do it without any of you. I have tried to put myself in all of your shoes and I think about what I would have done, had it been the other way around, and your strength for me has helped me more than you realize. The places to sleep at night, the funny stories to lift me up and laugh, and the safeness I felt with you does not go one day without being appreciated. I Love you all more than you will ever know. 

         To the ones who inspire me on a daily basis, Thank you. You've shown me that there is so much to be happy, and thankful for. Being surrounded by you motivates me to be my best self. You are all so Amazing.

        To the ones who have helped me become who I am today, and who are always looking out for me, Thank you. I don't think I would be here today without you. You guys have made me realize so much about myself and my potential, and that only inspires me every single day to be better than I was yesterday. You have helped me to stay motivated to reach my goals, and have said "I am proud of you" when I do. You've shown me what is possible, and that you believe in me, and for that, I will always be grateful. I love you guys so much!

          And last, but certainly not least, to my Dad and my Guardian Angel, my Mom, I Love you two more than anything in this world. I've learned so much from both of you. Life is short, so don't be too afraid to try new things, to chase your dreams, and to live life to the fullest. Mom, Thank you for always watching down on me and protecting me, thank you for being the best Mom in the entire world to Josh and I. I would give ANYTHING to see your Beautiful face again, and I will someday. I Love you so much❤ Dad, Thank you for always being there for me. Through thick and thin, and other people coming and going, you have been a constant in my life, and I appreciate that more than anything. You are the STRONGEST person I know, and it only makes me stronger. You inspire me every day. I Love you more than life itself and I mean that whole heartedly. 

     You all mean the world to me, and I am so blessed to have/have had you in my life. You guys are the best of the best, and I Love you all more than I think you could possibly know. Once again, Thank You❤ 

Love,

Becka