No Friends > Fake Friends

There's so much drama that happens in middle school; at least what I remember of it. I went through a couple of situations where "friends" were using me, and then ditching me and I didn't trust many of them anymore. Being in middle school, you want to have a lot of friends, it makes you feel cooler, and you feel like you belong somewhere. My grandma always used to tell me that having no friends was better than having fake friends. I thought she was crazy at the time -I wanted people to hang out with. 

       The point of friends are for them to be there for you, as you are for them. You have a mutual trust, and people you enjoy being around. What is the point of spending time with people you really don't like all that much, you don't trust, and you all talk about each other behind each other's backs? 

        Sometimes being alone doesn't mean anything negative. It doesn't mean "you suck", no one likes you, etc. Many times, it can just mean that you know the type of people you want to surround yourself with, and you're not going to settle for less. There is however a difference between not having friends, and isolating yourself. Don't purposely cut yourself off from people, especially when you feel rejected by a group of "friends". Be yourself, and the right people will come along! 

          In school, it's hard thinking about "where am I going to sit in lunch?" "Who am I going to work with on this project?" But don't over think things. Wait until you actually walk into that cafeteria, or classroom. Just because you maybe don't have a close group to immediately turn to, doesn't mean you don't have acquaintances that will help you out. 

          It's better to have no friends than to have fake friends because especially in middle/high school, you don't want to spend all of this time being frustrated with people that feel almost like a chore to hang out with. Like I said, be yourself, and you will attract the right friends, that WILL be there for you and support you. 

Prayers&Positivity

Becka

Crying is Not Weakness

Everyone has their own perception of what "being strong" means. When I was younger, I thought being strong meant you never cried; you never had "weak moments". As I've gotten older and experienced much more in my life, I realize that that can't be further from the truth. 

       I was always taught that it was never okay to cry. I had to "be strong". That stuck with me up until a couple of years ago, and I still rarely cry in front of people, but yes, I do cry sometimes. We all do. And no, it does not make us weak.

        Everyone has moments where they need to let out all of the negative energy that may be inside them. And for many of us, just being able to break down and cry helps us relieve so much that we bottle up. Those moments don't make us weak. They only make us stronger. They help us delve into our issues and learn from them, rather than keeping things inside, and pretending they don't exist. 

         Being strong is being able to realize that your life is not perfect; realizing what issues you are facing, understanding them, and coping with them. In some cases, letting everything out can only help you, not hurt you. The only way to sort through these things is with a clear head, and if in order to do that you need to let out some tears, that is 100% okay.

        From my past experiences, anyone who tells you that it's not okay to cry, are the weakest. They're the ones that don't have their life together, but try to pretend they do. Strong people don't have to pretend; they know they aren't perfect, and they embrace it.

Prayers&Positivity 

Becka 

         

Don't Give Up!

No matter where you go, what you do, what you say, how you feel, how you dress, etc. there is ALWAYS going to be at least one person that tries to bring you down and criticize you. Why? Because you're above them. They are afraid of your success. What does that mean? Keep doing what you love, keep pursuing what it is you want to be successful at. Whether it's a career, personal goal, or just the way you think. 

       The people that become most successful are the ones who refuse to give up. They don't take ANYTHING from anybody and the belief they have in themselves is all the drive they need. Of course it always helps when you have people supporting and encouraging you, but even if you don't, that doesn't mean you're wrong.

         Success is not based on popularity. You could have twenty people surrounding you, but that's not going to get you to the top. 

          I have a friend who is seemingly kind of a "black sheep". Their interests are different than a lot of people our age, their views are slightly different. I constantly see them battling people telling them what they can and can't do, that their opinion or thoughts are "wrong", but what I love about them is that despite all of that, they haven't changed one thing about their interests or thoughts. 

           It's people like that that inspire me. In life, people are going to try to get you off track and make you feel unimportant; they're going to tell you that you can't do it. I want you to pay close attention to this: the reason someone will tell you "you can't do it", is because THEY can't do it. They can't dream as big as you can, they don't have half of the determination that you have. No matter what ANYONE will tell you, NEVER give up!

Don't Know? Don't Talk

I know I have said this before, but the first thing that comes to my mind when I get irritated with a person is "what might they be dealing with internally?" It is so important to stop and think about that before you say something harsh to someone. Maybe that person has family issues, they're depressed, a relative passed, maybe they're fighting with a close friend. If someone says something negative to that person, it could be very detrimental. 

       You shouldn't say something harsh to somebody anyway, but thinking that question in your head might prevent that. Everyone is fighting a battle, and many people are skilled in hiding it. If someone is "use to" dealing with pain, you might not be able to tell that there is something wrong, but that doesn't mean they aren't dying on the inside.

       Try to be positive and kind to everyone you encounter. Sometimes a person just needs one compliment, one piece of advice, or even just a smile. It costs absolutely nothing to be nice. I know this may sound repetitive, but I can't stress this issue enough. If you speak rudely to a person, and then find out afterwards that maybe a tragedy has occurred recently in their life, that only leaves the both of you feeling terrible. And sometimes, "sorry" doesn't mean much. You can't take back anything you said.

       The phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a lie. Broken bones can be healed, and eventually be like new again. But someone who's been bullied, will be a changed person forever. And a lot of the time, they've changed for the worst. Their self esteem, body image, trust, and perception is demolished. 

        Your words can break someone, or make them. What will your words do? 

What Will Your Last Words Be?

This may sound cliche, given that the term "words hurt" is used frequently, but words DO hurt. I always keep in the back of my head that I don't know what someone might be going through in their personal life. I try to be positive to every single person I interact with. I'm sure we've all seen the power points of the kids and teenagers that have committed suicide due to bullying. They break my heart. It costs absolutely nothing to be nice to someone. It really makes me think though. If someone you knew committed suicide due to bullying, would you want to be one of the people that led them there? 

       This is a more personal story that I've decided to share with you. It goes to show you that as positive as I am and as much of a role-model as I try to be, I make mistakes. And this is a mistake I will have to live with for the rest of my life. 

      -Roughly four years ago, I was talking to someone who I feel took part in taking away my childhood, one of the people I wanted to run from.[Reference to my previous blog] As a twelve-year-old, your definition of standing your ground, and the legitimate definition are completely different. I said a lot of hurtful and vulgar things. 

      I hadn't talked to them since, which didn't ever effect me. But three years later, I had posted something pretty disrespectful on one of my social media sites. It was a generic statement, but the person saw it and from what I was told, said "I am going to die knowing that that little girl hates me." 

       When I was confronted about it, of course I just got defensive and had the mentality than it was my page, and I should be able to write what I want. 

      I knew I should probably try to make it right. I was given a second chance. All I had to do was send a message. I kept putting it off and putting it off.

     I never realized how sick this person was. They had been in and out of the hospital like crazy. I thought their statement was a little extreme at the time. But, 5 months later, I got the news that that person had passed away. They were right. They died thinking I hate them. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I can't take back what I said, there's no other chance for me to be able to make it right. 

     "Make sure you taste your words before you spit them out." I cannot stress that enough. Tomorrow is never promised. 

Patience or Persistence?

You know the saying "Good things come to those who wait"? In some cases and experiences in my life, that is true.

      For example, maybe you're waiting for a relationship or something of that sort. You can't really be persistent in that case scenario without seeming like a stalker. Sometimes you really do just have to wait and be patient until that special person comes along❤

       I'm also a firm believer in karma. What goes around comes around; both positive and negative. I believe that if you send out nothing but positive energy, that is what you will receive in return. But, sometimes you do have to wait for it. You don't just do a good deed and get rewarded the next day. But believe me, it is well worth it!

But good things also come to those who are persistent and refuse to give up on what they want. 

 

     Even when you are being patient, you're still being mentally persistent. You're not letting go of the desire to have what it is you want. You still hope, believe, think, and pray that some day, you will get what it is you've been asking for, even if you are not verbally asking or it. 

     It could be something so basic as(and I know this is a terrible analogy) a kid wanting a new toy. Kids are usually very stubborn and won't stop until they get what they want. 

      With my own experiences, such as my weight loss. I didn't drop the pounds by sitting on my butt, waiting for them to melt away. No, I'm persistent with myself and do what has to be done to accomplish what I really want. 

       An example even more personal, from the time I was 8 years old up until now, I prayed every single night, and I really mean every single night, that my Dad would quit smoking. Did I REALLY see it happening? Honestly, not really. But I have Faith in God and anything is possible for those who believe. Approximately 3,100 prayers later, and my Dad hasn't touched a cigarette in a month. 

  

       You really just have to choose your action based on the situation at hand. But if its something you really want, don't give up on it❤ 

Parents

I'm not purposely trying to sound like some cookie-cutter "dream child" by any means.  But something that really bothers me is when kids [teenagers] disrespect their parents. I've witnessed this numerous times with a bunch of different scenario's, and regardless, it's just upsetting. 

       Now I'm not saying that I'm this perfect image of a child and wear a halo; not at all. I don't always agree with what my Dad says, and there may be instances where if I vent, I don't always say positive things. But one thing for sure, is that I don't speak to my Dad the way I've seen a lot of people talk to their parents. 

      It's a sensitive issue for me because most of the time I see this occur with mothers, and most of you are aware that my Mom passed away when I was little, so it really makes me cringe when I see how others take theirs for granted. If I happen to say something about the situation, I hear a million different reasons for it, all resulted from anger. The top 2 things I hear are "they don't understand" and "they never do anything for me" okay, we'll let's take a second here to think about this. Are you fed? Do you have clothes? Do you have all of your necessities? Maybe even things that are just wants? Yes. Maybe you don't always see eye to eye with your parents, and they make you angry sometimes, but I guarantee you this: they love you unconditionally. Don't ever take that for granted. 

      You may think your parents don't understand you, and sometime's you are right. But, our parents were once teenagers too, and believe it or not, they've been through the same things as us. Just like you want your parents to understand and respect you, you have to give respect to get it back.