Mistakes

We all make mistakes in our lives. But we're also left with at least one decision. We can choose to move on and learn from a mistake, or to dwell on it. If it was a person who maybe told us the cold hard truth about our mistake, we can choose to get bitter, or get better. I've made a lot of mistakes, just like every single one of us. But I've made a lot more than "normal" lately. No matter what it is I've done, there's always at least one person I can trust to talk to about it. Sometimes I don't like what I'm told. Sometimes the truth really does hurt....a lot. And for a couple days, I've usually gotten bitter. But I've gotten to a point where I'm sick of saying "I'm sorry" or feeling bad about my behavior, and feeling like people are frustrated with me, while I'm also frustrated with them. Like I said, it's happened to me more and more lately, and I hate how I handle situations. I've realized that instead of trying to "prevent" things from happening in the future, and dwelling on past mistakes, you just have to move on and go with the flow. Cross the bridges when you get to them, instead of planning a detour ahead of time. We don't always get our way, or hear what we wanna hear, but that's okay. That's life; and a lot of times, life is not fair. We learn to roll with the punches. I always just felt like I was wasting people's time, and instead of feeling "better" after talking to people, I felt worse in a way. I used to think that talking to people about problems was good because I didn't wanna seem fake. And yes, If you have a problem you need help with, you definitely need to seek someone to talk to. But I realized that once I get the help I needed, I DON'T need to tell "everyone". By then it's old news. I got sick of getting yelled at and being talked down to. Most of the problems I had, came from worries and fears. And most of our worries are NOTHING. And a lot of the things I worry about mean NOTHING. Because they're all things I can control. Well most of them. Lately they are. I realized I was pushing God away from me, instead of closer to me. I needed him to guide me in the right direction, instead I was going in the direction that I THOUGHT I wanted. Looking back, I don't regret what I've done, I regret that I know without a doubt, God was speaking to me, TRYING to guide me down the right path, and I ignored him. I can't do anything now except pray for forgiveness, and pray for that guidance that I need. I don't want to keep talking about change, I want to actually CHANGE! No more apologies, no more excuses. I'm ready!