Don't Give Up!

No matter where you go, what you do, what you say, how you feel, how you dress, etc. there is ALWAYS going to be at least one person that tries to bring you down and criticize you. Why? Because you're above them. They are afraid of your success. What does that mean? Keep doing what you love, keep pursuing what it is you want to be successful at. Whether it's a career, personal goal, or just the way you think. 

       The people that become most successful are the ones who refuse to give up. They don't take ANYTHING from anybody and the belief they have in themselves is all the drive they need. Of course it always helps when you have people supporting and encouraging you, but even if you don't, that doesn't mean you're wrong.

         Success is not based on popularity. You could have twenty people surrounding you, but that's not going to get you to the top. 

          I have a friend who is seemingly kind of a "black sheep". Their interests are different than a lot of people our age, their views are slightly different. I constantly see them battling people telling them what they can and can't do, that their opinion or thoughts are "wrong", but what I love about them is that despite all of that, they haven't changed one thing about their interests or thoughts. 

           It's people like that that inspire me. In life, people are going to try to get you off track and make you feel unimportant; they're going to tell you that you can't do it. I want you to pay close attention to this: the reason someone will tell you "you can't do it", is because THEY can't do it. They can't dream as big as you can, they don't have half of the determination that you have. No matter what ANYONE will tell you, NEVER give up!

Don't Know? Don't Talk

I know I have said this before, but the first thing that comes to my mind when I get irritated with a person is "what might they be dealing with internally?" It is so important to stop and think about that before you say something harsh to someone. Maybe that person has family issues, they're depressed, a relative passed, maybe they're fighting with a close friend. If someone says something negative to that person, it could be very detrimental. 

       You shouldn't say something harsh to somebody anyway, but thinking that question in your head might prevent that. Everyone is fighting a battle, and many people are skilled in hiding it. If someone is "use to" dealing with pain, you might not be able to tell that there is something wrong, but that doesn't mean they aren't dying on the inside.

       Try to be positive and kind to everyone you encounter. Sometimes a person just needs one compliment, one piece of advice, or even just a smile. It costs absolutely nothing to be nice. I know this may sound repetitive, but I can't stress this issue enough. If you speak rudely to a person, and then find out afterwards that maybe a tragedy has occurred recently in their life, that only leaves the both of you feeling terrible. And sometimes, "sorry" doesn't mean much. You can't take back anything you said.

       The phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a lie. Broken bones can be healed, and eventually be like new again. But someone who's been bullied, will be a changed person forever. And a lot of the time, they've changed for the worst. Their self esteem, body image, trust, and perception is demolished. 

        Your words can break someone, or make them. What will your words do? 

What Will Your Last Words Be?

This may sound cliche, given that the term "words hurt" is used frequently, but words DO hurt. I always keep in the back of my head that I don't know what someone might be going through in their personal life. I try to be positive to every single person I interact with. I'm sure we've all seen the power points of the kids and teenagers that have committed suicide due to bullying. They break my heart. It costs absolutely nothing to be nice to someone. It really makes me think though. If someone you knew committed suicide due to bullying, would you want to be one of the people that led them there? 

       This is a more personal story that I've decided to share with you. It goes to show you that as positive as I am and as much of a role-model as I try to be, I make mistakes. And this is a mistake I will have to live with for the rest of my life. 

      -Roughly four years ago, I was talking to someone who I feel took part in taking away my childhood, one of the people I wanted to run from.[Reference to my previous blog] As a twelve-year-old, your definition of standing your ground, and the legitimate definition are completely different. I said a lot of hurtful and vulgar things. 

      I hadn't talked to them since, which didn't ever effect me. But three years later, I had posted something pretty disrespectful on one of my social media sites. It was a generic statement, but the person saw it and from what I was told, said "I am going to die knowing that that little girl hates me." 

       When I was confronted about it, of course I just got defensive and had the mentality than it was my page, and I should be able to write what I want. 

      I knew I should probably try to make it right. I was given a second chance. All I had to do was send a message. I kept putting it off and putting it off.

     I never realized how sick this person was. They had been in and out of the hospital like crazy. I thought their statement was a little extreme at the time. But, 5 months later, I got the news that that person had passed away. They were right. They died thinking I hate them. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I can't take back what I said, there's no other chance for me to be able to make it right. 

     "Make sure you taste your words before you spit them out." I cannot stress that enough. Tomorrow is never promised. 

Patience or Persistence?

You know the saying "Good things come to those who wait"? In some cases and experiences in my life, that is true.

      For example, maybe you're waiting for a relationship or something of that sort. You can't really be persistent in that case scenario without seeming like a stalker. Sometimes you really do just have to wait and be patient until that special person comes along❤

       I'm also a firm believer in karma. What goes around comes around; both positive and negative. I believe that if you send out nothing but positive energy, that is what you will receive in return. But, sometimes you do have to wait for it. You don't just do a good deed and get rewarded the next day. But believe me, it is well worth it!

But good things also come to those who are persistent and refuse to give up on what they want. 

 

     Even when you are being patient, you're still being mentally persistent. You're not letting go of the desire to have what it is you want. You still hope, believe, think, and pray that some day, you will get what it is you've been asking for, even if you are not verbally asking or it. 

     It could be something so basic as(and I know this is a terrible analogy) a kid wanting a new toy. Kids are usually very stubborn and won't stop until they get what they want. 

      With my own experiences, such as my weight loss. I didn't drop the pounds by sitting on my butt, waiting for them to melt away. No, I'm persistent with myself and do what has to be done to accomplish what I really want. 

       An example even more personal, from the time I was 8 years old up until now, I prayed every single night, and I really mean every single night, that my Dad would quit smoking. Did I REALLY see it happening? Honestly, not really. But I have Faith in God and anything is possible for those who believe. Approximately 3,100 prayers later, and my Dad hasn't touched a cigarette in a month. 

  

       You really just have to choose your action based on the situation at hand. But if its something you really want, don't give up on it❤ 

Parents

I'm not purposely trying to sound like some cookie-cutter "dream child" by any means.  But something that really bothers me is when kids [teenagers] disrespect their parents. I've witnessed this numerous times with a bunch of different scenario's, and regardless, it's just upsetting. 

       Now I'm not saying that I'm this perfect image of a child and wear a halo; not at all. I don't always agree with what my Dad says, and there may be instances where if I vent, I don't always say positive things. But one thing for sure, is that I don't speak to my Dad the way I've seen a lot of people talk to their parents. 

      It's a sensitive issue for me because most of the time I see this occur with mothers, and most of you are aware that my Mom passed away when I was little, so it really makes me cringe when I see how others take theirs for granted. If I happen to say something about the situation, I hear a million different reasons for it, all resulted from anger. The top 2 things I hear are "they don't understand" and "they never do anything for me" okay, we'll let's take a second here to think about this. Are you fed? Do you have clothes? Do you have all of your necessities? Maybe even things that are just wants? Yes. Maybe you don't always see eye to eye with your parents, and they make you angry sometimes, but I guarantee you this: they love you unconditionally. Don't ever take that for granted. 

      You may think your parents don't understand you, and sometime's you are right. But, our parents were once teenagers too, and believe it or not, they've been through the same things as us. Just like you want your parents to understand and respect you, you have to give respect to get it back. 

Me, My Happiness & I

A lot of people, recently have wondered why I'm so positive all the time.  This might throw some people off, but I totally understand this question, because there was a time where I would ask someone the same thing.  I've learned that life is so short.  And I've been on the negative side of things.  I've been the girl with the bad attitude and that didn't want to associate with anybody.  I've thought the worst, and let the worst happen.  I hate negativity.  Negativity attracts negativity, and nothing good can come out of being negative.  Being positive, and happy, doesn't come from having everything go as planned, or having a "perfect" life.  Anyone who knows me, knows that my life is far from perfect.  But I don't dwell on everything that's going wrong.  I look at, and thank God for what's going right.  I can't say that there aren't moments that I get angry, or upset.  We're human and we all feel like that from time to time.  But I don't let those feelings consume me.  I don't really hold grudges.  We all make mistakes, and to hold a grudge just takes so much energy...negative energy, that I just don't want or need.  I've learned that some things just aren't worth it.  There's people you need in your life, and there's people you don't.  Every single person that comes into your life, I guarentee you is going to hurt you in some way at some point in time.  Maybe not drastically, but even just as small as hurting your feelings.  Face it, we hurt people we love frequently.  But you have to forgive them.  I know some people think I'm crazy because most of the time, I believe in giving people a lot of chances.  Why? Because there's been a few times that I've need more than one, two, even three chances to correct myself.  And I wouldn't be where I am today, if I hadn't of gotten those chances.  Now I'm not saying to keep giving people chances if you're miserable doing it, or if you feel like it's a chore or anything.  Because I also feel that there are people that are incapable of change.  Or at least need more help. 
              I've also learned that helping other people, helps you help yourself.  Seeing anyone, especially my friends upset, breaks my heart.  I could be having a million things not going right in my life, but if I walk into school that morning, and just one of my friends are upset over something, they're my first priority.  And a lot of times, listening to them, makes me realize that their situations are a lot worse than mine.  Someone ALWAYS has it way worse than us.  I'm not trying to be "corny" or anything when I say that, but seriously.  There are people starving, with no homes, people dying and losing someone they love every single day.  And we seem to have the time to ignore the people that care the most about us because they may have said or done something so small to hurt our feelings. We seem to have the time to whine that we can't go shopping this weekend because "our parents are jerks".  What is truly important to you?  What if tomorrow your life just ended?  Would that shopping trip or petty disagreement really matter?  No.
              I'm the type of person that will willingly help whoever I can, whether I'm close to them or not.  I know what it's like, and how it feels to feel like no one is there for you.  I know what it's like to just want someone to pay attention to me.  Sometimes all it takes is one compliment, or better yet, just giving them a smile.  It costs absolutely nothing to be nice to someone.  I don't want people to feel like no one cares, or that there isn't any hope.  Every single one of you are loved and cared about.  Every single one of us deserves to be happy.  But you have to realize what is truly important in your life.  Happiness starts with you.  It's a choice.  I used to think that was crazy.  I was one of those people that if things weren't going my way, I wasn't happy.  But life doesn't work that way.  It's not about how much money you have, it's not about any materialistic thing.  It's about spending your life with the people that mean the most to you, and never missing an opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you.  Tomorrow is never promised.  Find happiness is helping someone, find happiness within your friends & family, but most importantly, find happiness within yourself.


Prayers&Positivity
Becka

You Are Important

One thing I realize about myself is that I spend TOO much time worrying about other people. Unfortunetly, in the negative context. I worry about people I care about hating/not liking me, being upset or mad at me, etc. I hate that I do that, because well, the majority of our worries amount to nothing in the end. Making relationships have always been something I've been pretty good at. But if I have an argument or falling out with someone I care about, my first reaction is that they hate me and we'll never speak again. I think about it everyday, all day. And nothing good comes out of it. Sometimes we just have to agree to disagree I guess. I hate not resolving things. If it's something stupid, then obviously we can just forget about it and move on. But if I'm spending days in misery over it, it's clearly not something stupid. It's so hard for me to just "get over it" and pretend nothing happened. But I finally decided to make a decision. Regardless of how hurt I am, how upset I am, or how much stress/worry I have that causes me to feel so many other things, we are ALL important.
                 Instead of turning these last few days of misery into weeks and months of misery, I decided to focus on myself. There's goals I have set, a few of them I am SO close to, but I let my feelings get in the way of succeeding. See, it's more of our mindset, not skill that determines whether or not we will fail or succeed. I want to succeed. There are so many things I want to do, and I can't spend my time being mad at someone else. Someone hurt me? Okay, so I won't worry about them for a while. You gotta know when enough is enough. Not necessarily when to walk away, but give yourself some space, and time. Focus on the things that make you happy, focus on the goals and dreams that YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH, and don't let negative feelings stop you. It is SO important to believe we can do something. If you have all this hatred and negativity inside you because of someone else, you start to look down on yourself. "No one cares about me." "No one loves me." "I'm not, or ever will be good enough." "I can't do it." You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. There are so many people that love and care about you, but if at the time you don't realize it, God loves and cares about you more than anything. He put you here for a reason; you have a genuine purpose. If you feel alone, look to Him. God will never bring you TO something that he can't bring you THROUGH.
                   God has Blessed me in so many ways, and I'll admit, I haven't always been as appreciative as I should be. I can spend an endless amount of time dwelling on things that have upset me, but I don't make the time to do what really matters. Like I've said before, people can tell when you're genuine and when you're not. If you want to be happy, help someone else be happy. Don't focus on your problems, focus on your victories!

Prayers&Positivity
Becka