What Will Your Last Words Be?

This may sound cliche, given that the term "words hurt" is used frequently, but words DO hurt. I always keep in the back of my head that I don't know what someone might be going through in their personal life. I try to be positive to every single person I interact with. I'm sure we've all seen the power points of the kids and teenagers that have committed suicide due to bullying. They break my heart. It costs absolutely nothing to be nice to someone. It really makes me think though. If someone you knew committed suicide due to bullying, would you want to be one of the people that led them there? 

       This is a more personal story that I've decided to share with you. It goes to show you that as positive as I am and as much of a role-model as I try to be, I make mistakes. And this is a mistake I will have to live with for the rest of my life. 

      -Roughly four years ago, I was talking to someone who I feel took part in taking away my childhood, one of the people I wanted to run from.[Reference to my previous blog] As a twelve-year-old, your definition of standing your ground, and the legitimate definition are completely different. I said a lot of hurtful and vulgar things. 

      I hadn't talked to them since, which didn't ever effect me. But three years later, I had posted something pretty disrespectful on one of my social media sites. It was a generic statement, but the person saw it and from what I was told, said "I am going to die knowing that that little girl hates me." 

       When I was confronted about it, of course I just got defensive and had the mentality than it was my page, and I should be able to write what I want. 

      I knew I should probably try to make it right. I was given a second chance. All I had to do was send a message. I kept putting it off and putting it off.

     I never realized how sick this person was. They had been in and out of the hospital like crazy. I thought their statement was a little extreme at the time. But, 5 months later, I got the news that that person had passed away. They were right. They died thinking I hate them. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I can't take back what I said, there's no other chance for me to be able to make it right. 

     "Make sure you taste your words before you spit them out." I cannot stress that enough. Tomorrow is never promised.