'Jesus > Religion' Summary (Chapters 3 & 4) + Discussion Questions

                     If you have yet to read my blog on Chapters 1 & 2, I would recommend checking that one out before continuing reading! :) It's been about a week and a half, and I apologize for the delay in writing this; I've been enjoying time off of school...maybe a bit too much LOL. So here we go into the next two chapters!!

Chapter 3: Fundies, Fakes, and Other So-Called Christians
                  Jeff actually has a YouTube video under this same title [ http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VNOkSLACLX8 ] He talks a lot about the stereotype of how many people "act Christian". Fundamentalists, in this chapter are referred to as the people who follow the "rules of Christianity" but don't actually apply them to their life, or understand why God wants certain things for our lives. They follow rules, but don't have the intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Fakes are the people who I've heard several people complain about, and why a lot of people actually don't want to go to church, because there are those people that will shake your hand at service, but don't acknowledge you, or aren't Christian-like outside of the church. I really liked this chapter (as I do all of them!) because as I said, I've personally heard of this issue and people will tell me they don't go to church because of the fake people. However, instead of Jeff "bashing" the fundamentalists, or the fakes, he really questions our own judgment and lifts US up in not letting those people stop us from receiving God's grace. Jeff ends the chapter with the church story [I will link in the discussion question] that I could actually really relate to and again, he really wanted to challenge us to dig deep within ourselves.

*Highlights From the Chapter that Inspired Me*
"Jesus essentially said, 'I know my miracles are awesome. I know I have immense power. But don't follow me for the wrong reason. The cost is high." (pg. 39)

"Fundamentalism is living by the rules to stay out of trouble, rather than seeing the rules as tools to bring us intimacy and joy." (pg. 43)

"Persecution, like fire, burns up the weak elements (wood and hay), but actually purifies the strong ones (silver and gold)." (pg. 48)

Chapter 2 Discussion Questions (& some Answers)

The questions I've answered are ones that can be found in the book, or ones that I really wanted to include. The ones that I have left blank are questions you will have to answer personally. Take the time to read these questions and honestly answer them to how they apply to you!

 

1. Jeff would admit that he sometimes clings to religious rules or dead orthodoxy rather than living Faith. What about you?

2. Why do you think some rules -such as prohibitions against alcohol, swearing, and tattoos -are given more weight in religious circles than caring for the poor and downtrodden?
This is definitely an issue in society today, and it’s because a lot of people are unfortunately fundies, and because of that, they don’t know actual scripture, they know what myths have been passed down about Christianity over several hundred years, but because they don’t know what they’re preaching is false/no specific verse for it, they are also unaware of HOW MUCH the scripture tells us to love one another, and help each other.

 

 

3. Has the general Christian response to the gay community shown mercy, justice, and faithfulness? Why or why not?

*4. Jeff states, “Heaven isn’t a place for people who are scared of hell; it’s for people who love Jesus.” What’s your understanding of Heaven?*

 

5. “when we have no real transforming power of Jesus in our hearts, we still want to act as we always have, so we hold up a list of external behaviors so others can look at us and still see we’re Christians.” Has this been your experience? Explain.

6. If the kind of people you attract and repel reveals the authenticity of your faith, how are you doing?

7. In the parable of the two sons, the father wants both to enjoy the party. Are you more likely to resist or take part? Why?https://bible.org/seriespage/two-sons



Chapter 4: Religion Makes Enemies/Jesus Makes Friends
                 This is actually my favorite chapter thus far! Jeff starts it off with a story about an almost-fight he partook in in High School, and how at the time, he felt almost as though the cops showing up before anything really happened seemed like an adrenaline killer, but looking back he realizes it was God's saving grace. He then discusses the "hatred" we have for people who aren't the same as us, and how that developed/why we think that way. Religion is actually a big reason many people think that women, and gays are minorities. Religious people tend to think they're "good with God" because of just that, they're religious. And they start to act as if they know everything and they are on a pedestal. However, true Jesus-followers critique themselves, not others. Jeff states on page 63, "Last time I checked, I was my own worst enemy. No one has caused me more grief, pain, or heartache than I have. The Bible rarely tells me to fight against what I believe, but it frequently tells me to fight against my sin and the disease in me that's drawing me away from Jesus." Through this, he talks about how being a true Jesus-follower means loving someone even though they disagree with you. Again, I'm not going to give out any major spoilers, but there is one instance in particular he discusses with his Mom, and how they can disagree on it, but no one ever walks away from the discussion angry or upset. Another huge reason I Love this chapter is because it reminds me immensely of the quote "Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you."


*Highlights From the Chapter than Inspired Me*
"Religious people see certain people as the enemies, when Jesus-followers see sin as the enemy." (pg. 63)

"We are greedy, filthy, idolatry-loving, glory-hungry thieves. And when we trust Jesus, he washes us. He redeems us-all of us." (pg. 66)

”God is always a fan of going to the marginalized so his saving power isn’t credited to human wisdom but to His grace.” (pg. 71)

”…if you ignore every single thing Jesus commanded you to do, you’re not a Christian. You’re just auditing. You’re not Christ’s followers. You’re just fans.” -Bill Maher

Chapter 4 Discussion Questions (& some Answers)

 

1. Why is it so hard to love “them”.
          In other words, why is it so hard to love people who view things differently than us?

 2. Jeff says he’s intrigued that Christianity flourished the most when it was under persecution and not sanctioned by the government. Why do you think that is the case?I’m actually intrigued by this as well, and I feel the reasoning is because trials and tribulations will always be what tests our Faith, and really makes us strong in our Faith, as opposed to when being sanctioned by the government, you can be a “fan” instead of a “follower” and no one will question it.

3. Have you ever tried washing yourself from your sin rather than letting Jesus do this work of grace?

4. Describe what most attracts you to the person of Jesus.First and foremost, the fact that He died for us is an AMAZING thing to think about. It’s way more than that, but for lack of a better word, AMAZING. How many people do you know would be torturously murdered for everyone else’s sins? Would you? I know I wouldn’t. and that alone attracts me to my Faith in Him because he Loves us that much. He wants us to succeed that much, and He is always there for us.

5. Jeff suggests that idolatry is “the act of placing anything or anyone above Jesus as the ultimate source of worth, satisfaction, and identity.” Why do we place other things above Jesus in our lives? Where do you find your worth, satisfaction, and identity?

6. If you were truly to follow Jesus, what would be different in your life? 

'Jesus > Religion' Summary (Chapters 1 & 2) + Discussion Questions

                  I really wanted to write about the book, Jesus > Religion by Jefferson Bethke. I finally received it this week, and I hate putting it down! Because there is so much in the book, and literally amazes me on every page, I'm going to blog about every 2 chapters. The book is titled after Jefferson Bethke's YouTube video, in which he is most known for. I am a huge fan of his because he's young (26), and therefore is able to reach out to the younger generations. Many of his YouTube videos are spoken words (poems), and he clearly dissects them in this book, along with talking about his life, and how his poems came about. No matter if you're a devoted Jesus-lover, or just coming to know the Lord, this book is SO worth the read!

Chapter 1: Will the Real Jesus Please Stand Up?
            Clearly a spin-off of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady" LOL. In the first chapter, Jefferson talks about his faith growing up, and openly talks about how as a kid, he was a Christian by default. In other words, his Mom was taking him to church every Sunday, and she kept a Bible in the house, so he thought that automatically classified him as a Christian. In this chapter, he also talks about his Dad's absence in his life, and how he had resentment, which resulted in rebellion in school. He moved several times growing up, and discusses how that, too, had a negative part in his adolescence. I won't give any spoilers out, but he talks about what led him to God's grace while in college, and I think many people can relate to the situation Jeff was in.

*Highlights From the Chapter that Inspired Me*
"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." ~C.S. Lewis

"The Bible isn't a rule book, it's a love letter.
I'm not an employee, I'm a child.
It's not about my performance, it's about Jesus' performance for me" (pg. 7)

"We've lost the real Jesus -or at least exchanged him for a newer, safer, sanitized, ineffectual one." (pg. 9)

"But we don't like a dangerous Jesus because a dangerous Jesus isn't a profitable Jesus." (pg. 11)

"The reason we aren't fulfilled or satisfied by our version of Christianity is because it isn't Christianity." (pg. 12)

Chapter 1 Discussion Questions (& some Answers)

The questions I've answered are ones that can be found in the book, and the ones that I have left blank are questions you will have to answer personally. Take the time to read these questions and honestly answer them to how they apply to you!

 

1. What do you think Jeff means by “My true religion, as it is with most of my American Peers, was just moralism dressed in Christian clothes?

 

He felt like he was a Christian because he grew up in a “Christian” environment; he was just going through the motions, but in his heart he hadn’t truly found Jesus. 

 

2. How has Christianity been the default option for you in your life?

3. After his Mom’s news about her sexuality, Jeff gave up on God and rebelled. He likens this rebellion to drinking salt-water. Have you ever tried to quench thirst but realized you were at the wrong source? If so, describe what happened.

In other words, have you tried to fill a void with something that couldn't? 

 

4. Why is the fear of silence the greatest fear for many in our culture, especially young adults?

5. Have you ever interpreted the Bible as a love letter? Why or why not?

In other words, have you ever looked at the Bible as God's Love for us?

6. Soon after he began to follow Jesus, Jeff realized he had been duped into following a safe, ineffectual Jesus -a Jesus of his own making -rather than the real one. Describe the real Jesus.
The real Jesus is described in the book as “dangerous”, but it is a good thing because if Jesus were as safe as society tries to make him, he wouldn’t have even had the opportunity to die on the cross for us. The world would be much more dangerous than the real Jesus today.

 

7. Jeff states that Christianity has become a financial industry. In what ways have you experienced this? Have you ever experienced Christianity rising above a consumer driven culture?

 

8. Have you been resistant to believing God’s plan might include discipline for your life? How might God use trials to help you become more like Jesus?

 9. Why do Christians focus more on supposed acts of righteousness than the needs of others?

 

 

 

Chapter 2:  Why I Still Think Jesus Hates Religion (And You Should Too)
                 Jeff talks about the irony in how he was a Christian when he transferred to a secular college, but not while he was previously at a Christian college. He became his dorm's RA his senior year, and that ultimately inspired him to write the poems, because he wanted to develop something that captured the attention of his fellow college students. One of the biggest things Jeff addresses in this chapter is how as humans, we try to hide our brokenness, and mask our insecurities from other people.

*Highlights From the Chapter that Inspired Me*
"You don't try Christianity; either your heart has been transformed by Jesus or it hasn't.
  
  But you can try religion.
  You can try to follow the rules.
  You can try to climb up to heaven.

But all you'll do is white-knuckle your way to religious despair. It won't work. It never does." (pg. 27)

[Excerpt from 'Jesus > Religion' spoken word]
"Religion says do. Jesus says done.
Religion is man searching for God. Jesus is God searching for man.
Religion is pursuing God by our moral efforts. Jesus is God pursuing us despite our moral efforts.
Religious people kill for what they believe. Jesus followers die for what they believe."
(pg. 28)

"Love is the new law.
The way I think about it is this: if I'm ever tempted to cheat on Alyssa, I could motivate myself by the law -I won't cheat on her because I might go to hell, etc. -or I could motivate myself with love -I don't want to cheat on her because she is better than anything out there. So it is with us and God. Jesus ushered in a more beautiful covenant. One that is perfected in love, not in hateful and fearful obedience." (pg. 30)

Chapter 2 Discussion Questions (& some Answers)

 

1. Jeff describes the brokenness he witnessed while he was an RA, a brokenness that remained largely hidden. What drives us to keep our brokenness hidden from others, and what does that cost us?

Especially in my generation, we want to seem almost perfect to others because we don’t want to be judged negatively, or we want to uphold a certain social status, but it’s very detrimental, because you can only pretend to be something you’re not for so long, and while you’re putting on that act, you’re denying yourself the truth, as well as the people motivating you to act that way. Lastly, the scripture says that we were all born sinners. By acting as though we’re not, we are almost claiming God as a liar, and we then are denying him as well.

2. Jeff writes, “My generation is the most fatherless and insecure generation that’s ever lived, and we are willing to sacrifice everything if we can just be told we are loved.” Do you agree with this assessment? Why or why not?

I agree with this statement whole-heartedly; as I answered in the first question, we want to be viewed a certain way so that we can gain positive attention, and this is just a more in-depth point. I’ve seen it, and also experienced it myself, that sometimes we get caught up in lust, or in what we think we want, that we might start doubting God’s morals, and plan for our life, because we’re seeing what we “want” right in front of us. We often forget that when we have God, we have everything we’ll ever need. He Loves us more than any human being could imagine.

3. Why do you think Christianity’s essence has devolved to “hates gays, can’t drink beer, and no tattoos” in the minds of so many? Is this a result of the institutional church, individual Christians, or something else?

I really think this is a belief that’s taught through the institutional church, because the institutional church is where the set of rules come from, and why so many people that go to church have this mentality. I know myself, before I REALLY came to know the Lord, I believed this too, because it’s what had been taught.

4. How has the Christian faith been more about good advice rather than good news in your experience?

How I’m interpreting this question is that often times, we as Christians go to the Lord for advice and guidance in a tough situation, when bad things are happening, but sometimes it’s rare when we take the good things as blessings. Again, before I REALLY came to know the Lord, I would mostly only go to him with problems, and when I was sad, but now I also thank him for every day, and for all of His blessings, big or small.

 

5. If relationship with Jesus is the new law, how does that influence your understanding of rules or expectations within Christian Faith communities? Does it shift your understanding about an external code? If so, how?

Having a true relationship with Jesus Christ influences my understanding of the rules that Christian Faith communities set because we are NOT God, and Jesus makes us realize that no, we sin every single day, we make mistakes every day; we are not perfect, but He Loves us as though we are. Christian Faith communities can make it seem like you have to be a literally perfect person, but Jesus wants us to accept that we’re not, and be happy with being perfectly flawed.

6. Jeff claims that he hates any system that promotes moral behavior as the only way to have a proper relationship with God. Do you agree? Why or why not?

 
7. How is the Jesus portrayed in the Gospels different from the Jesus promoted by religion?

In the Gospels, Jesus is portrayed as a man, who happens to be able to give sight to the blind, and turn water into wine, but from a religious standpoint, He is promoted as not being good enough for God, and saying that His sacrifice wasn’t necessary. In simpler terms, Jesus is good in the gospels, but evil in religion.

 

8. If God doesn’t want rule-followers, what does he expect from us as believers in Jesus?

God doesn’t necessarily want rule-followers, because you could be going through the motions, and not truly be following him with your heart. As I answered in questions 4, 5, and 6, is that He wants us to accept that we are not HIM! As humans, our lives end, and everything within us, is finite. Therefore it is impossible for us to not have sin. He wants us to develop a true relationship with him, and in doing so, you’ll look at things differently, but in the BEST way. Don’t only come to the Father in times of despair, but in even your smallest joyous moment.

Jesus > Society

         I've been wanting to write this blog for some time now, but I wanted to get my thoughts completely organized before I did. Where my heart is in writing this comes from personal experiences, as well as things I've seen and heard about. It goes without saying that especially as teenagers, and young adults, society can have a HUGE influence on us, and the choices we make. Society says "Sex before marriage is okay, everyone does it." Society says "Come play beer pong with us, everyone else will be there." Society tells us that anything everyone else does is okay. But just because everyone else does it, does not make it right in God's eyes.

          I'm going to get right into it, because this subject is going to kind of serve as the main topic of discussion: Premarital sex. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 -"ye should abstain from fornication (sexual intercourse between two consenting people who are not married to each other): that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel on sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence" (powerful feelings of physical desire). As teenagers, hormones are raging, and we have feelings and urges. But as I've stated in previous blogs, feelings are not bad; how we deal with them can be. 

         With the greatness of God, and his Love, forgiveness, peace, holiness, and grace, there is an evil that wants us to fail. God wants us to be great; he wants us to prosper. He wants us to be the BEST version of ourselves. But evil wants us to utterly and completely fail, to hurt, and to ruin the plan that God has for our lives. In wanting us to abstain from sex until we have entered the covenant of marriage, he is doing so to better serve our lives, not to punish us. 1 Corinthians 10:13 -"God is Faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;" (God will NOT let you be tempted more than you can handle)

          Society tells boys that visiting a strip club when they enter adulthood is "what everyone does. It's normal." But strip clubs have sin written all over them. They are one of the many temptations out there that are waiting for us to fail. Because what are boys gaining from it? Lust. Matthew 5:28 -"But I say unto you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery." Guys, let me ask you something. If you have a good girl by your side, who KNOWS her self worth, who has inner beauty, who would do anything for you, you have the best of the best right there. So why would you want the lowest of the low somewhere else? You're idolizing a female who has low -if any self-esteem, no idea of her self worth, no love for you, or any other boy she's filling desires for, but that's what pleasures you? What does that say about how you view yourself? And I am not saying that if you're single, it's different. Because again, any form of sex was created for the pleasure between two married people. Society says "everyone has a stripper at their bachelor/bachelorette party!" I have always said that when I'm about to get married, I DO NOT want a stripper at my bachelorette party. If my friends don't respect that, and a stripper shows up, I will leave. It's not fun, it's not classy, it's not enjoyable, and it's not me. It's the same concept I stated with strip clubs. In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, Paul says "for it is better to marry than to burn."

         This is just a stem from that topic; as far as I'm aware, most of society agrees that cheating on your partner is disgusting, and plenty of other adjectives we don't need to get into, but unfortunately, it happens. I've seen SO many people go through being cheated on, so I wanted to talk about it a little bit. You may think it's "cool" to talk to a lot of people at once, and see how many you can get to crush on you, or how many people you can "hook up" with. I'm definitely not the first one to say that it's not. The Seventh Commandment bluntly states "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Proverbs 6:32 -"whoever committeth adultery lacks understanding, and destroys his own soul." In my opinion, that verse says it all. 

          Society says "Come to this party and drink with all of us!" I'm not going to get into a spiel about how drugs and alcohol are bad; I'm sure you've all heard plenty in school and such, but I will say that drinking, especially underage does not put you at a higher ranking than anyone else. Ephesians 5:18 -"Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill you." Mind you, wine was what they called alcohol in general. 

        I did not write this to seem like a goody-two-shows by any means. I follow our creator who is a GREAT God, and I have views on things that I KNOW most people don't agree with...because I'm not agreeing with society. 

Prayers&Positivity

Becka 

        

          

Dealing with Anger

        We've all heard the saying, "Anger is one letter away from 'danger'". A couple of years ago [and sometimes to this day], I can get pretty nasty when I get extremely angry. I've stated in previous blogs that I have a BAD habit of bottling everything up over time. When I get angry, there's a 50/50 chance that I will uncontrollably release it. I talked with a mentor of mine, because I knew that the amount of anger I sometimes experienced was not healthy, and it made me feel like a horrible person. He said something that I still take to heart: "emotions are not bad, how you deal with them can be."

          It is more than normal for us to get angry. We have feelings and emotions, and sometimes people and things can influence them. In Matthew 5:44, God says, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." It has taken me a long time to understand this verse fully, and I completely understand that it is not the easiest thing for us to always do.

          We are often left feeling guilty, defeated, and upset when something has brought us to where we let our negative emotions get the best of us. At the bare minimum, apologize. Some people will get swallowed up with pride, and don't want to seem weak, or lose their dignity; but in reality, you are being strong, and being the bigger person to admit your faults. "Apologizing doesn't always mean you are wrong and the other person is right; it means you value the relationship more than your ego." And in many situations, there may not be someone who is "right", but someone should DO the right thing and apologize. The other person may not accept it, but you can walk away knowing you did the right thing.

        Matthew 6:14 -"for if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you." We all make mistakes, and especially in arguing with another person, whether we think we are right or not, both individuals have fallen guilty to the same thing. We are both in a negative state of mind, and have spoken words we do not mean. You cannot hold someone accountable for making a mistake that you have also made. 

          Several times in the Bible, God states that He calls us to Love. He wants us to forgive, and he wants us to have peace. I not only pray for my enemies, but I also pray for peace in my heart as well, and I pray that God takes my anger away; luckily for me, I do not stay angry for very long.

            When you pray for your enemies, you are taking away their power, and giving your strain to God. God wants to, and WILL fight our battles for us, but we need to call upon His name. Let God be in control of whatever situation is burdening you, and give your worries to Him. If you're reading this and thinking "she must be out of her mind", I know, I thought the SAME thing two years ago, but I PROMISE you, that you will feel relief. John 14:14 -"if he shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." God wants us to be set free, and again, he wants us to Love. But we cannot Love until we let go of anger.

Prayers&Positivity

Becka

Guilty Conscience

          I've felt extremely vulnerable lately, and as much as it sucks, it's a good thing. I bottle so much up, so it's good to every once in a while relieve some of that. With my vulnerability comes a ton of thinking, especially over-thinking. I really wanted to write this blog to A.) get this kind of out of my system, and B.) to show you that I am human just like everyone else, and just because I try to be an inspiration, and help others, doesn't  make me perfect, nor put me higher up than anyone else.

         I have probably one of the most guilty conscience's known to man; I really do. And some of you might think this is crazy, because well, it might be. But lately, I've felt somewhat undeserving of a relationship, and here's why:

          I don't feel that I am unworthy necessarily, or that I shouldn't be blessed like other people are to find their significant other. I am not saying this with low self-esteem or self-pity. But what I mean is that my life is, in some cases, a lot scarier than others. I'm not in any way saying that I am the only person in this world that goes through these hardships;  so many people go through much, MUCH worse. But to put this in harsh, to the point terms, I went from one day, everything being seemingly fine and "normal", to the next day, coming home from school to my Dad having a heart attack. 

        At that time, I was in a relationship and he had heard about a similar situation that occurred when I was eight, but no one could be prepared for it to happen again, I know I certainly wasn't. I give him a lot of credit for being patient with me and doing the best he could to calm me down and just be there for me. He stayed up late with me (this was during the school week) and called me in the morning to check on me, and give me a laugh =). But when all was said and done, I just felt extremely guilty that I put him through that. I still sometimes feel that way, hence me writing this blog eight months later. 

           I know that people say it's part of the "job" in a relationship to stick with your parter through thick and thin, but it's also part of the "job" to protect one another. In that situation, I feel as though I failed. I think I apologized ten times for ruining his night and keeping him up late. I remember him telling me that even though he's been involved in several different groups where kids deal with and go through a lot, and he knows how to help them, when he saw me cry, and saw how feared I was, he felt helpless. That makes me feel guilty. Not because he said that, but because again, I don't know what is going to happen in my day-to-day life. Granted, none of us do. But my biggest dreams involve my biggest fears. 

          I want to get married one day, and have a family one day...but it terrifies me that as much as I want my Dad to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, with everything that comes into play, there's a chance he won't be here to do so. And it upsets me that even though I have wonderful women in my life that have been mother figures to me, there won't be a Mother of the Bride at my wedding. 

            Of course these things are not going to stop me from hopefully getting to experience the joy of marriage, but I feel guilty that whoever I marry is going to be on that scary journey with me. And some might say that that is what a relationship is all about, but it kills me when someone experiences something that devastated me. I don't want to have him be scared all the time like I am, or have to stay up late with me when he's exhausted. I guess because I've learned to be, for the most part emotionally strong, it's difficult for me to be emotionally weak. Especially in a relationship, because all I want is to be strong for them. 

Prayers&Positivity 

Becka

Happy Simplicity/Merry Christmas!

               Today, a girl started talking to me about the Holidays, and what I had planned for Christmas. As I finished telling her of my Holiday traditions, she smiled and told me how her family doesn't do much for Christmas. I asked her about it, and she explained that her Father works on Christmas Day, and how when she was younger, her family didn't even acknowledge Christmas. She told me that her family doesn't exchange gifts, or cook a big meal or anything. It evidently made me more sad than it did her. This was her "norm". She definitely was not sharing this as a complaint.
               The past two or three years, Christmas has kind of died down in my family. We haven't had a tree, and gifts are picked out ahead of time and either received well before Christmas, or just not wrapped, and all fancy Christmas morning. We haven't even put up a tree. And this had made me sad. Nothing about my house is Christmas-y, and there are times I stop myself from trying to feel jealous when I see other people having lights on their houses, cute decorations in their lawns, and as I scroll through the endless (yet beautiful) pictures of decorated Christmas trees. But as I said, it's because I've seen the Christmas spirit sort of...die over the years. This wasn't my norm.
               But listening to this girl tell me how simple Christmas was in her household, and just the smile she had on her face, made me take a step back, and again use my mantra, someone always has it worse than us. Sometimes around Christmas, we can get caught up in presents, and decorating, and it's definitely normal, and understandable, but things like this can really "bring you back to earth" so to speak. Like I said, not only her situation, but the fact that she is just so positive about it. She wasn't complaining, she wasn't wanting sympathy. It was just as if you were to ask "what are you doing for Christmas?" and her normal answer was that she wasn't really doing anything.
               Over the past eight or nine months, I've really stuck to the saying that someone always has it worse than us. We hear these stories on the news, see them all the time quite honestly, but do we actually stop and think about it? You might be saying "Yeah Becka, you've said this a million times before." and my response to that would be yes, I know that, and I won't stop. Everyone has their own way of being humbled, and taking that phrase into consideration is mine.
               Today has most definitely made me more appreciative of what I do have, and made me not dwell on the things that I don't. Christmas has never been about gifts for me, but little things like not having a tree made me sad, but not anymore. This will definitely not be my last blog beforehand, but I'd like to wish you a very Merry Christmas! I hope reading this will make you appreciate it this year a little bit more. =)


Prayers&Positivity
Becka

Reflection

             We did an activity today in one of my classes that surprisingly threw me completely out of my comfort zone. So far this year, some of the other students have said that this class feels sort of like Group Therapy, and have been out of their comfort zone with previous activities and writing assignments. However, I am an open book when it comes to a lot of things, and I never expected that I would have that feeling at all during this course.
             When something "tragic" happens in my life, I have a habit of pushing it somewhere in my brain where it is not recognized or often thought about. I pretend it never happened and I am not in any way saying this is a good way to cope with things, but I run away from them. It's kind of like 90% of me is open to talking about my personal experiences, and such, but 10% of me is a closed door that VERY few people will ever know about because it's just too much for me to relive, and think about. During this activity, I felt like the door to that 10% of me had been forced open and I felt like I wasn't in control, and as much as I wanted to leave the room and cry, I stopped myself and did what was asked of us.
             Now for what you probably really want to know: what was the assignment? We had to write down negative things that adults in our lives have told us. Again, I'm not one to let what others say to me affect me, really, but when I think about things that I have been told especially in my childhood, it really makes me think of how much of an impact that has on the way I am today. For example, from a young age, I was taught that it is not okay to cry. It was repeated to me, even in the worst of times, I was told it wasn't acceptable. To this day, I really only cry in a couple of situations. But like today, I wanted to start crying right there in class, but that part of my brain started and I stopped myself. Now, I know there is a lot of people that don't like to cry in public, and they could stop themselves like that, but as a reflection on my own self, I can't help but think that what I was told as a child, impacts the way I live my life now.
             It was also really hard for me because not only did I start remembering things that were said to me, but everything that came with that. Such as the place, and the way it was said. It was as if I went back to each moment that I was told something negative, and I did not like it. I was very uncomfortable.
            This is NOT a blog I am writing for sympathy in any way, it is just a reflection. There's not many things or people that can get me to open the door to that 10% of me, so this was really surprising to me, and to be honest, still is. When I start thinking of one thing, it leads to another, and another, and so on. As much as I despise getting emotionally thrown out of my comfort zone, it really is a good thing, because running away from, and/or denying things won't help you heal. Sometimes I think that if I pretend it never happened, then it doesn't exist, and I can just move on from it, but our minds don't really work like that. It may work for a little while, until you start doing something, or acting a certain way, or reacting to something that is completely out of your "norm". At some point, in order to heal, we have to dig deep and uncover things that make us cry, and make us uncomfortable. But one thing that I have learned over the decade, is that it is okay to cry. If you're mad, get mad. If you're upset, be upset. If you're happy, smile, and make someone else smile with you. The only thing that isn't okay is to STAY sad, or mad. As humans, we make mistakes, and negative things will happen to us, and that is all the more reason to show your true feelings and "get it out of your system" before it causes a bigger problem.



Prayers&Positivity
Becka